Lost
by sarahxsoul
Summary: Hotch and Emily are in the middle of a storm so they have to pass the night on a motel room. Emily is not ready to face her own feelings. Hotch's either.  ONESHOT


First of all, this is my first ff in english! I'm sure I've made some mistakes, so I'd really appreciate if you let me know!

Thanks for reading ;)

_I do not own any of the characters._

**Lost.**

Thunders were arguing all around them so they could barely listen their own thoughts about the case. Drops were colliding against the windows, making more difficult for Hotch to look at the road.

'This is insane' muttered the black-haired man, more for himself than for his partner.

'Yeah! ' breathed the woman, with her eyes wide opened, trying to focus on something on the almost dark road.

They were at the middle of nowhere, the last town two hours ago.

'When we left the town it was pretty clear, how is it possible that in two hours heaven just falls down?' wondered Emily trying to make some conversation.

'It's pretty typical in this zone' said quetly Hotchner.

'Yeah? This doesn't seem normal to me' complained Emily with a sigh.

On the road they saw some lights, looked like it was from a police's car, so they stopped, warned.

'Sir' started an officer when the FBI agents stopped the car near him 'I'm sorry but you can't continue' The officer was soaked because of the constant rain.

Emily open her mouth skeptical, not believing what an unlucky day it was.

'I'm Aaron Hotchner and she is Emily Prentiss from the FBI, we really need to continue our way, we are working on a very important case' tried to sound calmy but he couldn't control the look on his eyes.

'Oh, I'm so sorry, sir, but it's just the way is … cut. Is a new river over there' said the officer pointing his finger to the darkness.

Emily sighed desperately and took her face in her hands.

'Do you know some place near where we can sleep?' asked her once she let her face show up again.

'There's a motel fifteen minutes over there, there's the only place, it's a little bit creepy and not very clean, but it is the only place near' said the officer almost apologizing.

'Ok.' said Hotchner placing his hands on the key 'Thanks, officer'

Emily looked as they left the car's lights behind, and started to slightly laugh.

'What is so funny?' asked her boss frowned.

'This situation' answered her gazing at him.

'Sorry, I can't see it. It's just annoying' said the man showing for the first time his discomfort.

Emily smiled in view of a different behavior from her boss. Is not that she had not seen him that way before, but anyway it was always a surprise.

They spent the rest of the trip without another word, just lost in their own thoughts, cutting the darkness around them.

Suddenly some shy lights appeared behind a curve saying 'Motel' in red.

'Oh, thank God.' cheered Emily sitting more straight on her seat.

Hotch parked the car as near as he could from the entrance and then they run to it.

The small hall was painted in grey and pale green, making a horrible combination. Emily's happiness disappeared from the first moment she entered, cursing again her lucky. The place was more than depressing and even more because the employee standing behind the counter. A man at his fifties was looking at them, his face covered with a short beard, not for being cut regularly, but for not being shaved in a week. His hair was grey and greasy.

'Hello' started Hotch not showing any kind of expression at the other man. 'We need two rooms for tonight'

The man didn't bother to answer, he just took out some papers from a desk and gave them one paper.

'Sorry, I said two rooms' said the agent when he realized the man had given him a paper for a doble room.

'It's the only room I have' answered the man, apathetic.

Hotchner looked at his subordinate with interrogation and she nodded knowing that was it or sleeping in the car.

'Okay' said uncomfortable the Unit chief signing the paper.

'You will thank me later' joked the weird man with a grin that showed them only four teeth.

Emily gave a start and hurried up to the outside.

Both agents walked to the room number seven, and Hotch opened the door with the key and switched on the lights.

'Ugh' was the only thing that slipped through Emily's lips when she cast her eyes over the room.

A double bed was in the middle of the room, covered with a grey blanket that had suspicious marks. On the wall a single picture, not straight, of some random landscape. The room also had a table on the corner and on the opposite side a really small bathroom, not really clean.

The man sighed and walked through the room analyzing every detail.

'Mmm ok, I can sleep on the floor' said finally looking Emily in the eye.

'No way' responded Emily frowned at her boss 'Maybe it's not appropiate to sleep together in the same bed, but I'm not gonna leave you sleep on the floor, without any blanket or cushion.'

Prentiss looked very determined.

'Sorry, I can't sleep with you, in any kind of circumstance' argued her boss looking at her disapprovingly.

'Oh, c'mon, Hotch. You're not going to be interrogate about what is going to happen here tonight. Nobody's going to know if we share a bed' laughed Prentiss, trying to relax him, but he didn't change his expression.

'I know, but I'm determined' chipped in.

The brunette just lowed her eyes at the floor and bit her lip 'Okay, whatever you feel comfortable with' She was used to give up when it was concerning about her boss.

'Fine' he said, starting to slipping of his tie. She run to the bathroom and locked the door.

Emily was nervous, pathetic and nervous. Her eyes questioning herself on the mirror. 'What was that about?' she questioned herself. It wasn't the best idea to argue with her boss about sleeping in the same bed. 'Stupid, stupid' sang for herself.

She always suspected about herself feeling something for her boss, but it wasn't something she used to think about. Long time ago she decided to choose some things over other things, and that was job. She loved her job with all her heart and feeling something for her boss wasn't the best way to keep it. She sighed tired and started to unbotton her jeans. 'Be professional, Emily.' told herself off.

On the room Aaron was already with his shirt off his trousers, trying to feel more comfortable physically, as he wasn't emotionally. That kind of situations always had made him dizzy. Woman, in general. He wasn't very good at it, and even less talking about his subordinate. He just wanted to go to sleep and wake up the next day…even if it was meaning to have a huge backache.

Prentiss entered the room with her shoes off and with her face pale.

'Are you okay?' asked her boss sounding worried.

'Yeah, sure' she answered sitting on the bed.

'You look pale' confessed his superior from the other side of the bed.

'Really?' she exclaimed touching her face with concern. 'I…I guess I'm just tired'

'Mmh' muttered Aaron still staring at her. 'Well, I think we better go to sleep, tomorrow's gonna be a long day'

'Yes' afirmed Prentiss and covered herself with the blanket. 'Goodnight'

'Goodnight' said Hotch after turning off the lights and laying on the floor next to the bed.

Few seconds later he heard Emily rolling over the bed, nervous.

'Are you okay?' asked Hotch losing his patience.

'Uh, yeah, I'm so sorry' said ashamed Emily 'I promise I'm going to stay quiet'

'Don't worry, I don't feel like to sleep' confessed her superior quietly.

'Did you call the guys?' asked suddenly Emily.

'Yes, they told me not to worry' answered the man 'We couldn't do anything anyway'

'That's true. We have to sleep anyway'

'Yes' nodded Aaron in the dark.

Some minutes more passed when Emily just got up of the bed. Aaron heard her so he sat up too.

Emily didn't notice her boss was awake too, so she continued her way to the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

Some minutes later he opened the door and found out Aaron sitting on the bed, checking something on his phone.

'Oh, I'm sorry, I tried not to be noisy' apologize the woman.

'Don't be, I can't sleep anyway' said without looking up from his phone.

'Well, anyway, I'm not a very good company.' she smiled sadly. 'I'm going to get a drink and stay a little bit on the outside.' She was already putting on her shoes.

'What? No, really, you don't have to.' he said glancing at her finally.

'Oh, just, you know, don't worry. I'll be fine' and she left the room.

She was standing out, next to the room's door, listening as the rain was falling and as Hotch switched off the lights. She smiled, faintly. On the other side of the corridor a drink machine was waiting for her, rusty and with a pale light over it.

'That's sad' said Emily as she walked her way to the machine. It was that kind of scene that could make everybody get depressed. The machine was almost empty so she picked up some little bottles of alcohol and sat next to it. She felt herself empty, as the machine. Her job was starting to feel not enough for her. She always had been ambitious and always wanted more and more since she got the job at BAU, and then, everything was perfect, until now.

She opened one of the little bottles ans started to drink, not because she was thirsty but she wanted to forget for a minute what was swimming through her head and her heart. She grimaced at the taste of the vodka and knew that that wasn't the best way to spend the night, she was still on a case. So, few more bottles after she went to the room, hoping her boss to already had fallen asleep. She opened the door, as carefully as she could in her state and closed it behind her. Trying to focused on where he was sleeping and where the bed was. Then she kicked the bed with her right toes and cursing herself for such a victory she felt over the bed.

'Prentiss?' asked Hotchner in the dark

'Mmm yeah?' whispered the woman trying to sound sober.

'What are you doing?' asked him going to the light switch to turn it on.

When the lights were on Aaron found out his subordinate laying on the bed with five little bottles of alcohol around her and she was laughing.

'What the hell?' he asked fiercely.

'I'm sorry' she said, she wasn't really bad drunk, but pretty much, with that happiness because of the alcohol.

'Yes, you better are!' he said trying to sound calmly. 'What are you thinking about? We are on a case!' this time he didn't make it and just yelled.

'I know' she said sitting up on the bed. 'I've never did that on a case, promise…Now, I'm going to sleep and tomorrow I'll be perfectly.' she left to the bathroom to clean her face with the cold water.

'No, you'll probably lose your job because of this mistake' he condemn with anger.

'You know what?' said Emily turning around to look at him. 'I don't care' a smile drawed on her face.

'What?' said her superior with his eyes wide open, skeptical.

'You've heard me' she said 'I don't want this job anymore. I just want to go away of it, and of you' she laughed hysterically and facing him.

He didn't say a thing. It felt like he was in front of Elle again, she telling him how she was injured because of him. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing slipped of it, so he closed it again.

'I'm sorry' murmured Emily with tears in her eyes and opened the door. She just appeared next to him while he was lost in his memories.

Aaron wasn't sure if she was crying so he run after her to find out, but she was already under the rain, soaked.

'Prentiss!' he shouted from where he was, safe from the rain. 'Prentiss, this is insane, come here right now!' Hotchner was starting to feel worried more than angry, and very very confused. The black-haired woman didn't answer neither turned around. 'Prentiss!' he kept shouting.

Emily was just tired, so tired, and broken. Every move, every word, hurted her like a stab. She didn't know why from one day to next day she was feeling so weak, but what she knew was that she didn't like it to feel that way. She'd always been a strong woman. All the euphoria because of the alcohol disappeared with the rain.

'Emily' he said taking her by her arm. She tried to turn away but he pulled her along with him inside of the room.

He closed the door and both stayed silent, and without move one muscle.

The only sound in the room were the drops falling from both of them, soaked.

He sighed and stared at her for some minutes wondering what was on her mind to do what she did minutes ago. Then she slipped around and some real tears were falling from her eyes. 'I'm so sorry' she muttered. He broke. His anger just flew away with his stoic expression. He didn't answered but kept staring at her with a softer expression.

'I know you are mad, and it's normal, and I'm sorry. As I said, I'm not a good company.' she tried to laugh but failed. Her eyes wet and her cheeks brushed.

'It's ok if I'm fired, it's fair.'

'What I need, right now' he chipped in looking at her in the eyes 'is to know what was all that about'

She sighed, and sat up on the bed trying not to look at him, scared. 'I was drunk' she confessed, trying to avoid the truth.

'Yes, I've seen that. But why?' he said, still resting his wet back on the door. His shirt was transparent because of the rain.

'I had a rough day, week, month'

'That's not an excuse, we all have rough periods of time'

'Yeah, I know, but I was just bad…I don't know'

'C'mon Emily!' he shouted losing his patience 'I know you, what can possibly be so bad so you want to ruin your life? I mean,' he breathed exhausted 'what's wrong with you? You've fought too much to just ruin everyhing. I've trusted you, all this time, I really believed you were a good agent, a good….' he stopped in conflict.

'What?' whispered Emily with her hands on her lap, curious.

'A good friend' he confessed resting his head on the door. 'We are a team, no one leaves without a proper explanation. We are a family.'

'That's the problem.' she said roundly. 'I can't be part of this family anymore. I've failed to myself, I don't want to disappoint you.' she sobbed.

'I don't think it's possible for you to disappoint us. You've always been a good agent, very professional, strict with yourself…'

'It's not about that. I know I'm a good agent, but it's not about my work.' she condemned.

'Then, what is it about?'

'I can't tell, I'm sorry.'

Aaron banged his fist on the door, angry, and worst, lost.

'So you don't trust us? Don't you trust me?' yelled Hotchner shooking his head. Emily had never seen him like that to a partner 'What is so bad, Emily? I'm feeling like I'm the one who is disappointing you, here ' Prentiss shook her head with sadness. ' We've been through a lot of things together, I trusted you. I know I'm not very sentimental person, I'm not easy to talk with about, but I'm your boss, I've been worried about you when you got abducted, and everytime you were hit, or whatever. What I'm trying to say is, I think I deserve more than that...'

'I'm in love with you' suddenly said Emily, without noticing it, the worst six words she could ever have said just slipped trough her lips. Hotch opened more his eyes. The woman bite her lip, devastated, and dragged her fingers through her hair.

'Wh…what?' the unit chief whispered trying to make his brain work again.

'You're disappointed' said Emily, as much as a question as it was a statement. 'I didn't want to tell you because of that. Believe me I've been fighting against it' she said getting up of the bed. 'I've been so fucking tired of this, pretending, I prefered you to remember me as a good agent, more than a person, now I would be the crazy woman who felt in love with her boss' she laughed slightly, trying to look relaxed. 'I'm really really sorry' she apologize again. 'Once the case will be over I'll leave the team, and that's it. You would find another agent'.

Aaron lifted his sight, finally looking at her, without any expression again, although his thoughts were fighting inside his brain. 'Ok' he said out loud.

Prentiss blinked skeptical, and with difficulty smiled at her boss. 'Ok, then'

Fifteen minutes later she was trying to sleep on the bed and he was on the floor. But both really knew that that night, it was going to be impossible.

Aaron was laying looking at the ceiling of the room, where some red lights were intruders. Loosing another agent… He knows it was something he couldn't control, it wasn't his fault…but why he felt like it was? Emily always had been a good friend, she'd always been there when he needed her, even when he didn't ask. She'd always been the first to be around at every situation. She was funny, and cheerful, and he always wanted her around, she'd made him feel alive. Aaron rested his hand over his forehead. Emily was right, a relationship between two co-workers was insane. He opened his eyes confused. Why he was thinking about a relationship with her? He blinked scared, what the hell was he thinking about? Was he feeling something for Emily? He remembered his thoughts about her when she, stubborn, decided to go with him to his apartment, just to be sure he was alright. When she was there when she opened his eyes in the hospital. When she was behind him on the funeral, all the time, keeping his back.

'Emily.' he said from his side on the floor.

'Yes?' she answered removing some tears from her face.

'How do you know you're in love with me? Maybe you just need something to lean on.' he asked wanting an specific answer.

Emily shrugged in the darkness 'I've been alone all my life, even when I was surrounded by people, I've never need somebody to lean on, I'm pretty strong.' she started feeling uncomfortable.

'Yes, you are' affirmed the superior smiling in the dark.

'Well, I don't know why I know it… it's just…' she breathed, couldn't believe she was going to answer his question. 'I feel warm around you. Safe, less alone. I can't help but concentrated on every gesture you do, your dipples, your rare smiles, and the way you take care of your son, I don't know….'

'That's my point. I'm two different people. You just know the worst of them.' he said.

Emily rolled over the bed to the side where Hotch was sleeping on the floor and put her head out of the bed's edge. It was dark but they were already used to that darkness so they can see each other a little bit.

'And my point is, if I'm in love with the worst of you, how I couldn't be in love with the best of you?' Hotch looked at her, at her hair behind her ear and her hand leaning next of his.

'Maybe I'm horrible cooking.' he said.

'That's okay, we can learn together.' she smiled.

'You don't know too much about me' Hotchner needed to take her hand, but he was fighting against it.

'You are good cooking' she said determined. 'I know you are. But for being a profiler you suck at reading people. People around you' she laughed.

'Yes, that's truth. How long you're in love with me?' he asked.

Emily's smile vanished and she let herself rest completely on the bed. 'Too much'

Aaron's heart started to beat really fast, feeling like it really was his fault to not help her. Not realizing about that before and cutting it up. He shook his head. He didn't want her to stop being in love with him. He wanted her to keep being in. He wanted her to keep being around him, making him warm, safe and less alone.

He started to laugh.

Prentiss looked at him confused and found out her boss grinning.

'What are you laughing at?' she wondered smiling.

He sit up and with one hand taking her face kiss her on the lips, gently.

Her heart stopped, and she felt dizzy for some seconds until he left her breath.

'Don't get me wrong but, what was this about?' she smiled.

'It means, I don't care anymore to sleep in the bed' he said getting up of the floor and passing over Emily to take the other side of the bed. Prentiss looked at him as he was laying next to her.

'I'm still fired?' she whispered.

It took for him few seconds to answer. 'No' he said with solemnity. 'But we're still superior and subordinate, so…'

'We can't have sex now' she joked.

Aaron groaned and smiled. 'Well, you've said nobody's gonna interrogate us, right?'

Emily was smiling when her superior layed down over her body and kiss her a second time, this time opening more his mouth. Both of them smiled while they were kissing, it was going to be their secret.


End file.
